Funny stuff. 6/30

I was scrolling through my Humor boards on Pinterest and here are some things I'd like to share and/or re-share.

You see, these images are not embedded because, since Pinterest changed their embedding procedure, every single pin I've embedded over the last two years has disappeared.  Which means, if you search through funny stuff I've posted in the past, you come up with nothingness.  I'm not happy about it.  So, I won't be embedding anything from here on out.  You can get to my Pinterest page if you'd like the links.

How I feel after I make myself run on the treadmill:

Because:

I've actually been opting for the elliptical lately when push comes to shove.  

I really have to be in the "I'm going to do this!" frame of mind to get on the treadmill.  

It happens about twice a month.

This is important:

"Happy Fathers Day to all the daddy's out there!", right?  

I know you saw that all over the internets a few weeks ago too.

ALSO, please note: When you use a word like "cant", "its", "Im", "dont", "wont" and don't include an apostrophe, a kitten probably dies.  I don't understand this.  Most computers auto-correct it.  We have idiot-proof devices, yet...we still have idiots.

(One mistake is fine.  I usually find one per blog post on my own blog..and then I try to correct it asap. When I can depend on your blog/status/tweets as a source of typo amusement, something is wrong with you.)

And Don Draper loves puppies.  Probably kittens too.

Anyway..

I found a tumblr site with gifs related specifically to blogging: #thetopknot.

It provided me with a full 15 minutes of laughter and guffaws.  Because it only took me 15 minutes to cruise through it.  They need to update more!

For example:

When I'm really excited about a post and no one comments right away:

This is how I feel every summer, because I usually don't have much to do:

Happy Sunday!

5 things friday

1.  After watching Forks Over Knives, and after talking it over, I think we're going to stop drinking cow's milk.  I have nothing against dairy products, because I don't generally eat them in large amounts. I just don't think drinking full glasses of milk is something we're going to be doing anymore.  (Is this weird? You'll tell me if it's completely illogical, right?)

2.  I watched Pitch Perfect last week.  It was okay.  The music was good. But...um, that's it?  I liked the "finish him like a cheesecake" bit.

3.  This is my exact reaction when Scott's friends show up at our house whenever they feel like it.

Just say I'm an awful person and get it over with.  It's okay.  I won't take offense.

4.  On Wednesday, Scott backed his (brand new) truck into another car. It made us both feel awful and stabby.  You know, like how Pete often feels.

But, this prompted me to wash (and actually take care of) my little Alaskan car.  While washing it, I noticed the registration sticker was outdated.  I knew that we had taken care of this before we left Alaska because we're not that irresponsible.  (Alright.  He's not that irresponsible.)  I had no idea if we ever got the new stickers, where they might be, where the registration was, etc.  I got out of bed at 6am Thursday to check the glove compartment and discovered I'd been carrying around an expired one for the last month.  Great.  I searched everywhere and it literally felt like I'd been glamoured or something because I couldn't remember anything.  Those last few weeks/days in Alaska were such a blur!  Finally, I realized if we had gotten the registration stickers in the mail, it would've been after the car was shipped to St. Louis, therefore that paperwork would be in the old truck we drove from Alaska.  I checked that glove compartment and there it was.  I thought my resourcefulness was nothing short of miraculous.  Scott never would've found it.  Like, never, ever, ever.

5.  Speaking of our friend Taylor, sometimes she's pretty cool.

I found this somewhere.  I don't follow her, as that "Following" button would lead you to believe.

Food poisoning in the state of Maine

This is a guest post that I wrote for Amanda last week.  
I don't think I've shared it here (alright, I can't remember), so here you are...

In the fall of 2011, Scott and I went to Maine as part of a two-week east coast vacation.  We were wanted to see New England (Boston!), as well as visit our families in PA, before he deployed again.

My favorite part of Maine was shopping at the outlets in Kittery because, being stuck in Alaska, I rarely got a chance to outlet-shop.  However, all I can really think of when I think about Maine is food poisoning.  

While I was shopping, Scott wanted a snack.  He walked across the street to Bob's Clam Hut.

source

It was only about 11am, but he was trying to get as much of that east coast seafood as he could (I think we ate our way up the coast).  Scott said this place was running a special: Buy an order of fried clams and get a free side of ....fried clams.  Later, he said that should've been a sign.

By evening he was sick and we stopped in Kennebunk because we needed to get to a hotel for the night.  It wasn't "I think I'm gonna throw up" sick.  This was fever, chills, sweating, tingling, near-hallucinations, and numbness.  Essentially, it seemed to be Paralytic Shellfish Poisoning, which we were familiar with because we'd been clamming in Alaska for a couple of years.

It was a long night. By morning, he had improved enough that I wasn't trying to haul him out to the car to take him to the hospital anymore.  While he attempted to recover before we hit the road, I walked around outside and took pictures like this:

What a sweet little church, right?  

Anyway, to this day, I tell him, "You're a survivor!  You made it through PSP! That, like, never happens!"  Whether he truly had a mild case of PSP or not, he had something (which is why you should stay away from roadside seafood at all costs, my friends).

I totally wish I could say the story ends there, but we both ended up with food poisoning on a cruise just a year later.  We think it was the stuffed mushrooms..but it could've been the lobster or the calamari.

We're so weak.  Vacations are rough on us.

What in the... Wednesday.

Here's some things I'm shaking my head at...

Grocery shopping:  I spent so much time pining away for cool grocery stores like Trader Joe's and Whole Foods over the last couple of years.
This is my current Trader Joe's situation.

I am the red star. 

Blog shilling: situation in which you use your blog as a platform to shill products you don't care about because someone will send you a free sample if you do.  And/or recommending a product you don't know much about.  Or a product no one really cares about.

If you post in this way, I usually don't read them.  If someone asks me to shill a product (I love that word), I don't do it anymore unless there's specifically something in it for me. I know that sounds bad, but think about it: I'm not going to wax poetic about your product if you're not willing to exchange goods/services.  

A perfect example was Firmoo.  They wanted me to give away a pair of sunglasses.  They wouldn't send me a pair to review because I didn't have enough followers. But they wanted me to recommend them, talk about how great they were, post all kinds of links tracking back to their website...but I wasn't allowed to try them. Why would I recommend something I've never tried? That'd be like saying, "Go to this restaurant because it's the best ever!" when I'd never been there myself.  

I would think that anyone who takes the time to read this blog would deserve and expect better from me.

Weather:  You've all heard, I'm sure, about Alaska's recent heat wave.  The news has not stopped talking about the fact that people in Alaska can wear bathings suits now for, potentially, the first time ever.  (So untrue, actually, because Alaskans go on more tropical vacations than anyone else I've ever known.)

However, I've been getting a lot of, "Wish you were here to enjoy this, Kristin!" in regards to the warm weather there.

.....to where exactly do these people think I've moved?

Notice the cool-down on Sunday :(

A lady was staring, with great fascination, at my Alaska license plate when I came out of Target yesterday.  She said she was looking for where in Alaska it was from.  I said, "Anchorage", she just looked at me, and then I said, "Oh, it's mine".   It took her a minute to realize that I was the Alaskan car's owner...not some person stopping to examine a random car.  Like her.  

I'm drinking the Robin Thicke Kool-Aid.  This might be the catchiest song I've ever heard.  Oh well.   

Oh, and my brothers are turning 24 today.  That's older than I was when I got married, which now means that I'm *officially*-officially old.  

Hot hot heat

(Not to be confused with Hot hot hate)

There is shopping 45 minutes away.  We went there on Saturday and I got a pair of jean shorts.  I'd been looking for jean shorts for awhile, and I found these at Marshall's for $17.  We'll call that a win.

It's hot.

Shorts: Marshall's (Express) // Shirt: AE // Flip-flops: Loft

After Marshall's, Target, Petco (we went a little nuts), and lunch, we went to the outlets that were right down the street.

The Gap and Loft were a bust.  I'm convinced JCrew had items marked-up so they could say everything was 40% off.  I'm having a hard time justifying clothing purchases, because there's really not much I need (aside from these jean shorts, obviously).

Since I'm a fast-walker, while Scott went to the Saucony outlet, I made my way to every store I needed to hit up in an hour.  It's odd: I've had nothing but limited, time-lined shopping opportunities in the last few years.  I've gotten really good at speed shopping, which is absolutely why slow-walkers bug me, I'm sure.

I was pretty sweaty when all was said and done (95* and humid) so I walked back to the truck with my hair in my hand.  A common occurrence when I go out these days.

Scott did "take me" to Target, but what was I gonna do? Make him stand there for 45-60 minutes while I combed through all the clearance?  That just seems kind of cruel, you know?  I'll go back on my own.

Even though it's really hot here, I still have to wear a sweater of some sort to the grocery store because they really over-air-condition those places.  

But there's still people walking around in pants, so a sweater actually doesn't look that out of place.

White Chocolate S'mores Rice Krispy Treats (and Mad Men)

Pete's greatest victory in life so far: Bargain-hunting

1. Peggy's never going to be happy.

2. Don is starting to tell the truth.

3.  I'm finally okay with "new" Bobby.  When he started last season, I missed "old" Bobby.  At least they never tried to replace Sally.

4.  It's interesting that Megan lets Don do whatever he wants for 2 years and then chooses to stand up for herself all in one episode.  Also, she's still alive.  I was looking forward to a scandal.

5.  Matthew Weiner really knows how to make 11 episodes completely uneventful and then pack the little bit of action he has up his sleeve into,what, like 48 minutes?

6.  I was hoping Pete Campbell in the Chevy showroom would turn into something like this.  Liven it up a little.

 Scott refuses to watch Mad Men but he'll sit next to me while I'm watching and ask me questions about it.  How do you even begin to explain these relationships this many seasons in?  Which means I'll probably have to watch it again today because I missed half of what Don said.

Here's some rice krispy treats.  I just needed a vehicle to a Mad Men discussion.

White Chocolate S'mores Rice Krispy Treats

1 cup white chocolate chips, divided

1 10-oz bag mini marshmallows

4 T. butter

2 t. vanilla

6 cup Rice Krispy cereal

8 graham crackers, broken into small pieces

In a large saucepan, melt the butter.  Stir in half the white chocolate chips, vanilla, and mini marshmallows. Mix well until the marshmallows have melted. 

Fold in the cereal until it's all covered with the marshmallow mixture.  Add in the graham cracker pieces and the other half of the chocolate chips.

Spread into an 8x8 pan for thick bars or a 9x13 pan for thinner ones.

Sharing at Mingle Monday

What I've been Netflixing

As I've mentioned, we recently got Netflix streaming and we're a little obsessed.  After years of waiting 3 days for a DVD to show up in the mail, we switched to the streaming plan.  We have a projector set up in the basement and it's a nice little escape.  In Alaska, you pay for your internet by "usage".  That means, if you're using data to stream anything, your bill is sky high.  I know what you're saying: "Welcome back to the real world, Kristin!"  Well, I'm happy to be here.

Extract
This movie was hilarious.  It has Jason Bateman, Kristen Wiig, Mila Kunis...all my favorites.  And, if you watch closely, Kristen Wiig's character totally has my purse.  Scott said, "What's her name?" When I told him, he didn't believe me, because my maiden name was Kristin Twigg.  (Another claim to fame, I suppose.  The first one is Kate Middleton and I almost sharing a birthday).

Butter
Jennifer Garner was funny in a way you've never seen her before.  I'm normally not an Olivia Wilde fan because, really now, she's just too pretty.  But she was my favorite character in this movie. Absolutely hilarious.  I feel like these independent-style films are a chance for actors to break out of their niche.  This definitely didn't disappoint.

Struck by Lightning
Terribly depressing, but such a great cast. (written by and starring someone younger than me...sigh)

The Bachelorette ^^

Adam Scott is a favorite of mine (as long as he's not with that Leslie Knope person).  I was never a Lizzy Caplan fan (so annoying on True Blood), but I loved her in this.  This movie was depressingly realistic (in a lot of ways, but not all).  Absolutely nothing like Bridesmaids, and certainly not a chick flick.  Liked it.

Straight A's
Another somewhat sad, somewhat depressing movie (that's how I like them I guess), but with an awesome cast. And, if Anna Paquin filmed this after having her twins, well...let's just say she might be a fairy after all.

A Royal Affair
If you don't mind subtitles and you like history, you'll enjoy this.  It's a true story, taking place in 18th century Denmark.  I thought it was absolutely fascinating.  A queen, who's married to a mentally ill king, has an affair with her doctor (who is also the king's doctor and companion).  A terribly sad ending.  But, then again, that's the theme I have going here.

What movies are you watching?  Got any suggestions?

funny stuffs. 6/21

This is one of my biggest problems.  I've suffered with it for a very long time.

I really like this guy.  Did you see him in 30 Minutes or Less?  Quite surprisingly, a really good movie!

This is how much I care about Kim Kardashian having a baby.

Remember, I don't even really like sandwiches.

I slip on stairs a lot.  If there's too many, I'll even get dizzy.  

I'm pretty sure this would push me over the edge.

And, yes, thank you.  Me too.  However, I do plan on getting out and enjoying some sun this weekend.

Can you believe it's already Mad Men finale time?!

Pins can be found here.

Let's compare...

First, Google Reader (they say) is really going away in a couple of weeks.  So, if you'd like to keep on following, make sure you hit on that Bloglovin' button to the left!

*Edit: Apparently GFC isn't going away.  But I secretly wish it would :)*

No makeup.  Skirt: Old Navy // Tank: Target // Watch: Fossil

...I'm just saying!

Which do you prefer?  

1.  I think my hair is turning brown and I'm okay with that.

2.  I held onto bright blonde (or at least it looks that way in the sun there) for a very long time because I wasn't about to let Alaska change me.

3.  I've worn this skirt 4 times. Once last summer. Once at the beginning of the school year.  In that snow-rific picture you see above. And then to the ice cream place (it was lovely) last week.

4.  People who say it's too hot here and they'd "rather be cold than hot!" are crazy.  They've obviously never truly been cold if they're saying that.  I know that humidity/heat/impending sunburn can be uncomfortable, but being cold is not what you think it is.

5.  In unrelated news, I watched Forks Over Knives while I was cooking dinner Monday night.  It goes without saying that I didn't eat much.  Did you see it?  What'd you think?  I don't think I can look at dairy the same way anymore.  Milk, anyway.  I'm not giving up ice cream.

Sharing at: Walkabout Wednesday, WIWW, Random Wednesday

Weekending

The Pulaski Regional County Fair.

I couldn't make this up if I tried.

At least it was free.

Unimpressed with the "fair", a friend and I went to the local cupcakery.

Sassy Sweets Cake Boutique.

The owners/employees were so nice, and the cupcakes were delicious; heavy-sugar frosting and moist cake.

On Saturday, Scott and I went to Springfield.  It's 90 minutes south-ish.  I went to Marshall's, which was refreshing, so I can see this becoming a once a month trip.  Springfield has pretty much all the shopping you could want, but it's just kind of far.  However,  it rained. A lot.

I really know how to pick a place to go, right? But it rained everywhere on Saturday, at least a little bit, and spending the day doing nothing at home would've been boring.

We went to a haunted castle.  I found this tourist attraction on TripAdvisor, and you can go here to look up the history of the Pythian Castle. 

The building next door where they kept WWII POWs. Really.  

You can read the history within that link up there.

"Haunted" tunnel in the basement leading to the building next door.

POW cell.  Complete with very accommodating air holes.

They let the POWs paint on the cell walls.

Can you spot the green orbs?  Totally a reflection of the lightbulbs, right?

Though, those were the interrogation rooms back in the day, so it'd make sense for them to be haunted.

I kept taking pictures of myself in random mirrors, hoping to see something pop up in the background of the picture.  No luck.  The bathroom was particularly creepy.

We also went to Bass Pro Shop (the flagship store).

And I thought the moose in Alaska were scary. 

(Those are random people. The line for photos was kinda long.)

Anyway, on Sunday night we went to a friend's house for dinner.  I wasn't necessarily pleased with this arrangment, because I was planning on having a True Blood premiere party.  The only problem being that I don't have any friends here who watch True Blood (in fact, I might be the only person I know in real life who does watch it...which is a crying shame). So it wouldn't be a party as much as just me, sitting on the couch, answering the millions of questions Scott would undoubtedly ask during the show.  But a good night, nonetheless, right?

It came down to...

Scott: So you'd rather watch t.v. than go out and socialize?

Me: I don't understand the question.  

Scott: We can watch it when we get home.

Me: It's not the same.

Scott:.......

So, we went. I legitimately like the people we hang out with here.  I really, really do and don't want there to be confusion about that.  However, I sat at a table with 7 other people who are all in the Army (wives included) and listened to them talk about the army for 3 hours.  Then, the 6-month-old baby went to bed and I officially had nothing in common with anyone else at the table.  

However, onto the important stuff:

True Blood was good.  I think it's going to be an action-packed season.  SPOILER: My heart broke just a little bit when Sookie rescinded Eric's invitation.  le sigh.

And Sally Draper is smarter than I gave her credit for.  Betty, deservingly, is going to have her hands full.