July 25, 2022

4 Months of Sutton

Last month I wrote about how I still don't like the hospital here, and how I feel like Sutton's birth is something I'm still, honestly, mad about. This month, some new thoughts occurred to me.

Since Wells turned 4 on July 10th, I started feeling those memories of the week he was born. I have such good memories of Wells being born. It got a little stressful when we realized they were pushing Only Breastfeeding disguised as "fed is best", but it was a truly good experience overall. My doctor was wonderful. The labor nurse was helpful. The anesthesiologist (a 60 year old man dressed in jeans and a polo shirt) was so nice. I have no bad memories of his birth. So when I reflect back on what the first half of July 2018 looked like to me, I remember making cupcakes for the 4th of July while Scott went fishing with a friend. I remember watching lots of Gossip Girl to pass the time. I remember going to get a pedicure. I remember stopping at the library and getting Golden Oreo-Os from Walmart because *that* cereal was the only thing that sounded good to me. I remember hiking on July 8th in the nearby national forest, and then my water broke on its own around midnight on July 10th. Wells was born, in an "easy and fun" way according to the OB, at 10:49am on Tuesday, July 10th. 

By that Friday, we were going out on our first family dog walk. One week later, we were doing Costco and sushi in Ft. Collins. Within two weeks, I had Wells in the Ergo, out on the local trail doing a dog walk by myself. 

It. was. so. simple. 

Those are my July memories now. 

Now, I worry that my March memories will be hard. I worry that I won't feel the same nostalgia at all surrounding Sutton's birth; that it will just be a dreaded time. While I can, and will, celebrate her, I will not feel the same way as I did/do feel about Wells when birthdays roll around each year. When this first occurred to me in June (thinking about Wells' upcoming birthday), I thought it was a really odd and out of place concern. Then, per the algorithm, IG started showing me birth trauma accounts. I realized this is completely normal. I can be glad Sutton is here and healthy and celebrate her and still be sad about the circumstances of the experience. It's not about disappointment in her birth; it's about the emergency and trauma of the situation. It's not about the c-section; it's about the fear and the emergency that led to the c-section. 

I've been putting it off but my goal for the next few weeks is to get my medical records and find a new doctor.

Onto 4 months...

I cannot believe she's been here for over 4 months already. I usually think she's older than she is because she's such a good baby. She just strikes me as being more mature for her age because she's sleeping and eating so well and on such a schedule.

This month Scott watched me carrying her around and said "I'm glad you have something you love so much"...I tried to detect some sarcasm there but nope. He was serious. 

Sutton is incredibly smiley and calm. She's an absolute joy. I told Scott that we should just change her middle name to Joy. I know she'll cycle through phases, but I had no idea a baby could be this easy. It has really clicked for me lately that babies like her are the reason why people decide to have so many babies.

Right now, she's drinking lots of formula...usually 5-6 oz at a time, probably about 32 oz a day. 

I remember starting some homemade purees and rice cereal with Wells around 4 months or 4 1/2 months but I'll probably wait til at least 5 months because I don't think she's quite there yet. I'll take the baby-led weaning approach but I really like doing homemade purees. (oh my gosh, i just re-read this post. maybe i will just go with full-on BLW at 6 months. yikes that seems like a lot of work.) 

The current AAP recommendation is not to start solids until 6 months when it was 4-6 months a few years ago. And the paperwork from the pediatrician very clearly states not to use a TV for background noise for a baby. However, they also recommend that two year olds should wear masks, so I believe nothing they have to say anyway. (Sutton does like her Cocomelon.)

She rolled over around the 15 week mark. She actually did it around 5 weeks a few times and then didn't do it again until just recently. 

Anywho, she sleeps through the night from 7pm to 7am and she's been doing that since 2 1/2 months old and I told Scott this is the best sleep I've gotten in years so...she's secured a special spot in my heart for that. When she *does* wake up in the morning on her own (half the time I have to wake her up in the morning), she doesn't cry, she just talks louder and louder until I wake up. 

(Last night, I was up from 3:30-4:30am with a dog who was afraid of the thunder and lightening. If it's not a dog that keeping me up, it's Wells. It's very, very rarely the actual baby.)

The poor thing doesn't have a baby book but that's what the internet is for I guess. She had kind of a big month with an army picnic, a visit from nanny and pap, and her first swimming pool experience. She went to church yesterday.  

She weighs 13 pounds and is in the 27th percentile for weight. 23 1/4 inches is the 9th percentile for height. She was the 6th and the 4th, respectively at birth, so I'll take it. 


  1. I think they change that feeding recommendation every few years - just when they feel like it. I remember my mom wondering why I didn't start Grace on cereal at 2 months because that's what they did back in the day. Grace started solids at 4 months and loved it. Jack seriously wouldn't eat anything until almost 8 months old. Each baby is so different! Sutton is cute as can be!

  2. Part of your memories with wells could stem from also in part that he's your first baby. I know more happened with Sutton bit just a thought

  3. She is such a cutie! I remember doing some rice cereal with Zoe at 4 months, it was recommended because she had acid reflux. I feel like they just change things whenever they want, which tells you that "science" is shaky.

    When I was reading through what you said with Wells vs Sutton, I also wonder if maybe Wells was a happier birth experience because Covid wasn't even a thing back then. The last 2.5 years hadn't happened. It was just a happier time in general.

    1. That’s totally possible. People were just NICER in 2018, you know? I felt like I was greeted with skepticism at every turn, giving birth in 2022.


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