Here's the thing

Trees are still bright green in Kansas

I would love to show up here.

I would love to show up here two, three, four times a week. 

I would also love to have a Complete Thought.

I would love to have a complete thought and throw the thought away without it circling back around in 20 minutes. 

I can't do big thought-out posts or even organize a post from start to finish because I can't even have a complete thought.

My kids aren't even *that* little and I *only* have two of them. 

I don't know what it's called when you can't finish a thought but also sleep very well each night. Like, I sleep hard enough that I wake up and don't remember what day it is and then my brain has to boot up as I shoot through the tasks and worries and particulars of the next 12 hours before I get out of bed (at 5am. I get up at 5am.) There's a lot of I can't sleep, I wake up in the middle of the night, I can't fall back asleep out there. NOPE. I sleep. However, this last week, we had two nights where a 4 year old didn't stop coughing at all and she kept me up all night. 

I saw an Instagram post about living minute to minute. That's what I do. I live by the minutes. I know if I get up past 5:15am, mornings are going to be rushed. I know that if I leave the house past 7:07am, I'll feel rushed at work. I know that if I don't wake the kids up by 6:20am, it'll be me yelling them out the door. I know that if I turn the robovac on past 5:30pm, it'll still be vacuuming at bedtime and Sutton hates that because she's scared of it.

I know that if I start the multiplication game past 9:50am at school, the religion teacher will walk in for her lesson and we'll still be playing at 10:00am. I know if I start a new chapter of my read-aloud book past 12:25pm, I won't finish the chapter in time for 12:30pm recess. I know that if I do not start packing kids up at 3:20pm, we'll be late heading to dismissal at 3:30pm. That means, getting the planners out and talking about the next day at 3:15pm. Which means wrapping up whatever we're doing by 3:10pm. 

If we want to talk about what's saving us these days, I would probably start with the fact that the copy machine is less than 10 feet from my classroom door. 

I know that if I don't have clothes picked out the night before for school, Murphy's Law says that we will be able to find nothing and that will also be the day one kid doesn't like the cereal choices, the dog will refuse to take his medicine, and the other kid will drag [her] feet on the way out the door. 

The weekend I refuse to grade papers or take any work home is the time everyone will clamor for the spelling test grade first thing Monday morning. 

On the weekends, I purposely do nothing. It might make me seem sad and anti-social. I don't care. I don't look for more to do. 

I do have a ballet class to be at this morning (in one hour and seven minutes) but that will lead into my errands for the day....Walmart, Aldi, Home Depot, and UPS (not in that order). I also have to pick up contacts I ordered a month ago and are still sitting at the eye doctor. 

I'm constantly trying to maximize my time: Should I do something during ballet? Should I take my computer? Should I get two errands out of the way with only *one* kid in tow? I have Scott's truck today so I have to think about parking (it's an F-350). He took my car back to Missouri for the weekend to change out the tires. I also have some school tasks to do, wallpaper to put up in the kids' room, and a quart of paint to redo some of the living room trim. I would love to bake something this weekend but the groceries need to be secured first. 

This is how my brain works. The idea of not being efficient is completely foreign to me. What is that called? I need a name for how this feels

And right now I'm listening to Sutton run from the robovac and the kids' alarm clock go off repeatedly. At some point, they set it for 8:00am and I don't know how to change it. It goes off at 8:00am every day, no doubt always waking Maverick from his morning snooze while we're at school. 

One of my tasks this weekend is to actually get Wells a Halloween costume. He hates what we already ordered and what he wants doesn't exist (some sort of Sonic), so wish me luck. I used to have Halloween ready by October 1st. Trunk or treat is tomorrow. 

Anyway, I came home to a hot water heater not working yesterday (see Home Depot, above), so thoughts and prayers that Scott could get that fixed tomorrow would be much appreciated. Steelers play in Paris at 8:30am so I'll watch that but the Bills have a bye this week. Chiefs play tomorrow night. I like to watch, hopeful they'll get a loss. I cannot believe they got Kenneth Walker. Penn State continues to embarrass me, so I don't know if I care what they're doing today. 

Oh my reusable grocery bags are in my car so I'm either buying more or making do with what cardboard boxes Aldi has lying around. I have no meal plan so I"ll be planning while I walk the aisles with two kids, which is a set-up for success if I've ever seen one. 

We've been out of town the last two weekends, so this is Sutton's first time at ballet in awhile. Is it worth it? Eh. I don't know. It's not cheap. 

I also have "take kids' pictures" this weekend on my to-do list. I refuse to buy school pictures because it would be $100 for both of them. No. Way. 

So when I say "here's the thing", it's actually a lot of little things. I don't know what this is called but I refuse to believe *gestures around* all this just pops up at 40 years old. I feel like it's happening to everyone but some are just better at masking it. 

BBQ Chicken BLT Sandwich + memes

I wanted to make a BLT pasta salad I found a recipe for on a food blog. Unfortunately, I didn't have a bunch of the ingredients and the kids ate most of the bacon before I got a chance to put dinner together. 

Needs must* so here's what I came up with instead. I basically combined my BLT idea with the bbq chicken sandwiches I was going to make another night. 

Living in the world of Kansas City bbq, this rivals any of it.

BBQ Chicken BLT Sandwich

Barbequed chicken, prepared however you'd like (we did Kinders Buttery Steakhouse, grilled it, and then did Sweet Baby Ray's Sweet & Spicy)

Bacon, cooked and cut into smaller pieces

Romaine lettuce, chopped up into smaller pieces

Grape/cherry tomatoes, halved

Avocado, diced

Brioche buns, toasted

Pickles, dill sweet and spicy from Better Goods is what I had

Ranch dressing, I prefer Better Goods Jalapeno Ranch but we had CFA Ranch on hand

In a salad bowl, toss the lettuce, tomatoes, bacon, and avocado. 

Start stacking your sandwich: toasted bun, chicken, pickles, salad mix, top with dressing if desired, toasted bun.

This is a very easy dinner and full of flavor. 

*everyone "needed" to eat

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I still need to try to make it through The Bear, but Lip Gallagher is one of the best characters on TV. 

I saw an influencer-type share that she washes her hair every 7-10 days and I have questions. She's a teacher. She has kids. She works out most days. 

7-10 days. 

Harvey Specter is also one of the greatest characters on TV, I think. Suits is a great rewatch you can completely ignore MM. In fact, you know how Angel Vids or whatever will remove offensive material from tv/movies? I wish there was something to cut MM out of Suits. 

(For me, it's rewatching TV shows on my broken ipad as motivation to get housework done.)

4 Products I would not buy again: Beauty edition

Chi heat protectant. I searched high and low for a great one that was recommended because we're all looking for that one hair product that will Change Everything., and this is the one that kept popping up. Unfortunately I didn't like it. It has a very strong cologne smell to it and I found that the tresemme spray I'd been using before was better. The Chi spray sat in the cupboard and I used it a few times a month in the spring and then finally threw it away a few weeks ago. I really just hated the smell and feel of it on my hair. 

Maybelline Super Stay 24 Hour Skin Tint. I saw this on a beauty reel from a professional make-up artist and she said it's the dupe for professional products her clients like. I was almost out of whatever I was using so I got a bottle. Obviously I don't know if it was just me or the product or a coincidence but I've had pretty clear skin for the last year:  I got a massive breakout on my cheek the week I started using it. That's enough for me to write off the $14 and I went back to what has been working but it, unfortunately, getting harder and harder to find. 

L'oreal Elive (any of it). I have tried multiple types of this shampoo/conditioner line and I'm always disappointed. I keep thinking it's me and I'm missing something but no; the formulas are cheap, in my opinion. Usually I keep things like this in the spare bathroom in case we have guests but this went into the trash. Lesson (finally) learned on the L'oreal products. I just don't like them. 

OUAI texture spray. I bought this because someone posted it and I was told years ago that I need a texture spray with my hair type...not hairspray or mousse or gel, but a texturizing spray. I feel like I tried one at some point but can't remember which. Anyway, I bought this in the travel size two months ago and I spray it on damp hair and air dry. It's fine. I like it. The smell, again, is really strong. You know those women who are always layering themselves in perfume? Yeah, it's just one more layer. I literally cannot imagine putting on perfume at this point in my life. I'm so ridiculously sensitive to smells.  

Have you bought anything lately that you're like "eh this is just taking up space and I don't like it"???

Saving my life, during the Heatwave of August/September

Pool. I would not have made it through the ginormous heat wave of August into September without the pool. It gave us an activity in the evening and gave me some much needed exercise. Wells learning how to swim like a fish makes this house worth it. 

Extra a/c unit. We had to buy a portable to help cool things down this summer. I don't want to talk about it. Best $250 we've spent, in my opinion. 

Roborock. We have no carpeting. All tile and hardwood. Dog hair flies and gathers and clumps. This is saving my life. I turn it on once a day or every other day. It goes under the bed, in the bathrooms, and goes over throw rugs too. The only place it doesn't get is under the couch so I brush under there with a swiffer once in awhile. 

This version also does a mop cycle when you add water. I was spending so much time sweeping floors. This is a lifesaver. It empties into a console with a vacuum bag on its own and you only change the bag every 4-6 weeks. Maybe this is the best $200 we've spent lately, now that I'm thinking of it. 

Air fryer. The only cooking that happens when the kitchen is getting full sun at 5pm and it's 100* outside and 74 inside is happening in the air fryer. We got it in 2021 and it's the best kitchen appliance ever and I will not be changing my mind. 

Iced lattes. This espresso powder is like its name says: gold. The drinks I make with it makes me think I don't ever need a breville and also why would you pay $7 at a coffee shop? These iced lattes are better than anything I've gotten at a coffee shop. One either goes with me to school in the morning or I make one at 4pm to give me the will to make it to sunset.

What got you through the summer?

Fall commences, maybe

This was posted Friday: 

I had grand plans to write something poignant about 9/11 or about our anniversary last weekend on 9/12. Nope. Here we are. Last week was days 386 through 393 of summer weather and I've had only a few days where I feel like I can breathe in a relaxed way --below 80 degrees in September. 

See, the problem is that the a/c in my classroom is broken and it's undetermined as to when exactly it'll be fixed. I mean, they said a certain number of weeks but I have no control over that so here we are. Usually, my classroom is always my respite from the chaos (ironic?) but I can't even spend one more second in there at the end of the day when it's 83 with full sun at 3:00pm. To make it even more sure I'm getting the message of This is for your sanctification, Kristin, it's only my a/c. The rest of the building is fine. 

It's like, there is no respite. Our a/c at our new house is so-so and Scott is waiting for cooler weather to do major repairs. The pool, ironically, is too cold most evenings because of all the rain. We've already entirely replaced a heating and cooling system in the last 3 years. I don't want to go through that again. 

The good news is that it kind of clicked and I figured out why I'm so disappointed in everything all the time: We had just finished our house in Missouri. We did all these repairs. We spent all this money. We had made it the way we wanted it and then we moved. The rental was what it was and that was temporary. But now, NOW, we've started all over again. It's very disheartening. Like, didn't I just finish painting everything gray? Now I have to paint everything gray all over again! Didn't we just finish the kitchen? Now I have a subpar kitchen all over again.

 

It's a first-world problem, but it's draining and heavy. 

Scott says "that's military life". And he's right. But most military families live on base and never buy a thing in their own names (which might be worse..having no ownership over anything). 

Adding to it: We want to make sure over the next few months we won't be back in Missouri in 2 years, before selling. So two mortgages and all. 

Here I was, trying to plan for this school year (for me, the kids) and the next and so on and Scott throws out "we could go back in two or three years maybe if there's an opening". 

Makes you realize how little control you have, you know? 

The one thing that, also ironically, never lets me down is football. There are games almost every night/day and that puts some pep in my step. I do think we should take Wells to a local football game this fall....I can hear the announcing from our yard on Friday nights. 

 

I won't spend $55 on a sweatshirt for myself but this is happening at Abercrombie:

Scott went to Japan for a few weeks and brought back an entire suitcase of Japanese candy for the kids. We've eaten a lot of European and Asian candy this last year with his job and it really does taste different!

And then he brought me back a fan and I was like "ha ha ha, I'll take that to school" because this is what my classroom was like when I walked in the other day at 7:24 am:

...and then I got home and was like "what's this thing in my bag?"

He really did put the fan in my bag for me to take to school. 

Telling time, say "no", and memes

We covered parent complaints about school supplies and then parents complaining about recess being taken away from their, no doubt, perfect angels. 

This week: telling time. 

"They wanted to work it out for themselves." I cannot stop laughing at that. 

I have no less than 5 conversations a day about the clock. 

These are 8-9 year olds though so I can almost understand. But, in reality, I have two analog clocks in my classroom and every time someone asks when _______ is (lunch, recess, etc), I say "the same time it is every day" and they say "no how much more time until _____?" and I say "there's a clock* on the wall" and they genuinely try to puzzle it out before someone else will yell out the answer or they give up. "It's my job to teach you, it's not my job to be your personal reminder of elapsed time" is going to be my new tagline. I have a schedule with times on the wall. I have the clocks available for them to see. To be honest, the most visible learning I see is when they work out elapsed time by themselves. Not being able to do this by 9 years old, it's almost a travesty. 

*My first several classrooms had analog and digital clocks on the wall. I used to cover up the digital clock in Alaska because it didn't do us any favors; they needed to understand the dang clock face and hands. Years later, my classroom in Missouri didn't have a clock. Just no clock. I spent $12 on one and we used that clock all day long. Especially because we switched classes, keeping track of time was important. I didn't teach math, but my students could use a clock by the end of the year simply because it was there. I took it with me when I left. Looking at the current classroom photos I've seen on Facebook, there's no clock on the wall. 

Speaking of: ^^^

The other day, Wells was like "remember when we went to that summer school thing?" "huh?" "yeah it was like a camp or..something...at a church". He described the location. 

"OH YOU MEAN THE CO-OP!?" 

"oh yeah that. that was boring, remember?" 

lol

But my point is: the kids were out of control there at the co-op with their parents around, in the same way they'd be in any school setting. And some of the parents had very strong opinions about not wanting their kids in a school. 

There were also 12 yr olds who couldn't spell and printed like 2nd graders. A school didn't fail that kid, the parent did. 

So that's how I know it's a parenting problem. Everything is a parenting problem. It doesn't matter if your kid is in school, can tell time, can't tell time, or homeschooled: it all comes down to parenting. Every kid is parented in some way or another and the "how" makes all the difference.