April 15, 2020

Current Perspective.

I rarely blog about deep thoughts when I'm in the middle of a struggle. Usually I just tell the world after the fact. But, since everything in the entire world seems upside down in many ways, here we are...

I know we're all feeling out of sorts lately. I know it's hard. I know times are uncertain. I am incredibly grateful that we're all healthy, so far, and that Scott isn't going to lose his job; they need him more than ever, to be honest.

If I'm being honest, I have to dive into the worry and panic we all feel, but I'm feeling it about something in particular. You see, we *had* plans to move this summer. We likely still have those plans, but we don't know what they look like now. We don't know if this is going to be more complicated than it needs to be. Everything has been halted. And, also being honest, Scott's role here is pretty vital in the midst of the coronavirus outbreak. 

Just like with most people, this pandemic has pulled our plans out from under us. 

And, just like with most people, my routine is all kinds of messed up right now...I've not fallen off the Bible-reading plan I'm using, but I'm perpetually 5 days behind. I'm still listening to the podcast and still reading. It's just slower than I wanted to be going right now. To be honest, Joshua has been so boring that I'm struggling to find gems to focus on. The tribes and the geography of land allotments is complicated.

So I was listening to the story of Joshua being recapped one day and I was reminded of patience, exactly when I needed to be reminded.

The Israelites waited years to be given their land. It wasn't an easy wait, but promises are fulfilled in some way or another. I'm not saying everything ends up rosy or perfectly wrapped up with a bow, because the world is a weird place right now, but things will end up.

There will be a place for us to live, somewhere. I just don't know where. I don't know if it will be perfect but I know that something exists on the other side of this quarantine life.

The trouble I had with finding a house here at the end of 2018 was the outlier to our house-hunting experiences over the last 10 years. It wasn't the rule. The rule is that we've always found a suitable house, when the timing was right. This has been my #1 struggle over the last few months: believing that we'll find a place to live that's better for us than this house/location. I have a lot of worries over this and it's something I'm trying to work through; I've been assured that my feelings over this are valid, even if I know a person's feelings aren't always valid. You're allowed to feel how you want to feel but sometimes spiraling into the whole self-care/self-pity cycle is completely counterproductive. I'm trying to look it through a wider lens.

This episode is what really spurned on these thoughts on my perspective. If you are thinking 2020 should be the year for you to read the Bible, I HIGHLY recommend trying that reading plan I talked about here
To be quite honest, I'm amazed by the timing of me deciding this year was the year I needed to read the Bible from beginning to end and this also being the year I would truly need it the most. 
If you need it right now, go for it. 

1 comment:

  1. Isnt that funny how it usually works like that - you start a study or reading of the Bible & it usually does line up with EXACTLY what you need to be focused on


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