December 2, 2015

The downhill slide... 30 years old.

Scott turned 30 last week.

Isn't that weird?

That means it's time for me to start reflecting back on the last year, because it means my birthday is less than 6 weeks away. I'm barely younger than Scott. Though I insist the fact that we were born in different years makes me much younger, I don't think it really does.

When I think about turning 30, this is all that comes to mind:

How do you go from barely being able to adult things at 20 to being forced to adult things 10 years later? I work with a 23 year old and it's eye-opening, to say the least.  Good, bad, or indifferent, 23 was a long time ago. 

So then I start to think....what have I done with my 20s?  I honestly don't know.  

I mean, I've lived in 4 states. I've worked at several schools. I've made many friends and acquaintances through the army, through work, etc.  We've had many addresses and a few vehicles and have traveled a little.  I've done my deployment-surviving from the homefront for more times than I care to reflect back on.  I've written this blog for most of my 20s so, if you're curious about a time period, scroll through the archives.

I feel like I've tried to make a lot of this last year; trying accomplish things while I was 29. But I ended up, more often than not, stressing myself out.  So no more of that.  

It was so easy to destress too. I just had to tell myself Enough.

I think the important thing I know now about myself is that I know what I like and I like what I like.  And I don't really try to apologize for not liking something or not wanting to do something (within reason).

For example...
I pre-ordered some plastic tubs from a school supply store, and when I got there to pick them up, they only had uglyish colors left.  Red, blue, green, and yellow.  If you know me on a personal level and we've had conversations, you might know that I hate primary colors.  They make me irrationally angry.  Classrooms decorated in primary colors nauseate me. 

The only thing worse than primaries are pastels, but that's neither here nor there. 

So I decided I could make the blue and green work (in the closet for storage).  Yellow was...survivable, and would also live in the closet. But I refused to take the red. And the lady was like, "What?" and I was like, "I don't like red..." and she gave me a look. 
When I was relaying this story to my 23 year old friend, she was like, "You don't like red? Weird!" and I was like, "I really don't.  I kind of hate it. You'll get to the point where you realize you like what you like and that's okay. Give it a few years."

I'm really glad I'm at the point and I don't feel the need to make excuses.  So there's that. 

Then I start thinking about what I haven't gotten to yet...what I haven't accomplished...what I haven't done.  It's a long list. 

I was also tempted to get brutally honest and focus in on that list, but I don't think I can do that yet.  Someday.  

I do wish I'd gotten to travel more in my 20s.  That sounds kind of silly and entitled, but I never really get to go anywhere because of my job.  When I do have breaks, Scott doesn't have breaks. Or it's Christmastime when the entire world is traveling and nothankyou. We swore we'd never fly again on Christmas after the 2012 debacle. I've done my share of travel though and I'm truly grateful for the opportunities I've had (because of the army, if we're being honest). 

Anyway.  Here's to almost-30.  Coming up next week? Scott's birthday cake. I created it just for him. 


  1. I am slowly approaching 30 (just turned 29 two weeks ago) and have no desire to do more adult things! I feel like the 20s are your time to do different things and essentially be carefree (in a good way) before you really have to settle down. But then I see all these people younger than me married, with a house, and a kid or two and I am like "WTF am I doing wrong?!"

  2. I am there. I am totally there. I'll be 29 in April, which blows my mind, but I talk to "kids" in their early 20s and yeah... you can tell a huge difference. I love where I am, though. I've really gotten to a point where I don't really care what people think, I like me, I do what I do, I like what I like, and I've accepted myself. I love it.

  3. My 30s have been the absolute best (I say as I stare 40 down in a year and a few months). You definitely know yourself and are more vocal about it I think.

  4. Personally, I found that 30 felt no different than 29. I don't think turning 30 is really as big of a deal as people make it out to you and Steph both said, I think your 30s are when you really kind of settle into who you are as a person, and that's a good thing. I guess aging has never really been all that scary...ask me if I still feel that way in 10 years though. ;)

  5. Just're going to get to a few years later and you're going to be like "dang I'm this old now, do i have retirement, yadda yadda" because at 34, and my career not going the way I would have liked, it makes you think all sorts of things!

  6. As someone who did, and loved, 30 I can tell you that it's an amazing thing to know what you like and not have any f--ks given about whether someone agrees with you or not. I have kind of always been this way, but now it's 100% okay and I love that! 30 is fantastic, embrace it!

  7. I really like what you said about getting to the point of not apologizing for the way you are and your likes/dislikes. Sometimes I feel like there are so many expectations out there about things that it is just exhausting. I also feel like when you do live the military lifestyle and have to manage several moves in just a few years it really helps you mature and realize what's truly important.

  8. I am actually really loving 30, I don't feel as different as I thought I would. :)

  9. I was terrified of turning 30 in May, but so far it hasn't been too bad. ;) I still feel young, and that's what matters...with a bit more life experience and maturity! I'm definitely not where I thought I would be at 30, but I'm ok with :)

  10. I love that you hate red. I hate so many things and just have no real reason as to why I don't like them... I just don't.
    I feel like that's kind of reason enough though.

    And, 30 isn't bad.

  11. I pretty much hated turning 30. I didn't FEEL any different. I just don't like having to give my age as a number in the 30s....

  12. i am not a fan of red either. in any kind of storage way or whatever, i like super boring neutral non colours. i love that getting a bit older makes you realise what you like and don't like and being totally okay with it. silly 23 year olds.
    were you and Scott in different years / grades? if so, you're totally way younger ;)

  13. I want to "Amen" all over this. I'm also getting to that stage where I'm realizing I just like what I like.


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