November 3, 2013

Sunday stuff

I wanted to label this "funny stuff", but I'm not really finding funny stuff out there anymore.  It's discouraging.

When we moved to Alaska, we became grown-ups.  I didn't go to a whole lot of parties as a college kid (okay, 2. I went to 2.), but these thirty-something parties are exactly the kind I started going to in Alaska when I was 23.

Examples: You gather coats/bags and put them in a bedroom or on a *gasp* coatrack.

You get mad when you catch a guest doing the dishes for you.

That there^ is how you know you're an adult.

I'm almost ready to take my *annual* break from Facebook. People have started announcing what they're thankful for ( we don't already know that you're thankful for your husband, right?).  I've already deleted it from my phone.

Plus, there's those lately who have been posting every single Instagram photo on Facebook.  If I wanted to see that, I'd follow you on Instagram.

I admit this is from that buzzfeed link about.  I love it though, and it fits. 

I had a harrowing experience at the grocery store this past week and, surprisingly, it wasn't at Wal-Mart.

I went to the commissary and, as I was leaning into the milk case to get a carton of almond milk, a 3 year-old rammed a full cart into the door going full speed from several feet away.  I felt like I'd just hit a windshield with my head.  The kid didn't care.  He will be a holy terror on some elementary school (probably mine) in a couple of years.  The mom must have been high (you'd probably have to be with a kid like that) and she half-heartedly apologized while by-standers asked if I was okay.  I didn't really accept her apology and, honestly, I probably should've started yelling at her.  I did complain at the front of the store and they knew exactly what kid/mom I was talking about because they'd been watching him inflict his demonic-like behavior for the last 30 minutes.

I was flabbergasted because my puppy has better manners than that mom and kid put together.  It's not that I can't believe that's true (Scout having better manners and whatnot), but because I don't understand how that could be possible.  My dog eats his own poop.  He's not human.

Before you politely disagree with me over my non-Jesus-like words/behavior and before I get some you're-not-a-mother-you-don't-understand eyerolls, this is what my head looks like.

Speaking of bodily harm...

I get incredibly nervous when I have to reload a stapler.  It just feels dangerous.

I've discovered that the stapler is the one tool a teacher cannot do without.  I use it for everything.  I used it more in Alaska, where I had straight-up bulletin board walls.  Here, most of the walls are cinderblock.  It's inconvenient.  

Which reminds me...I owe you classroom pictures.

Here's the before:

That's what I walked into 4 days before I started teaching

Anything I've done HAS to be an improvement, right? 

Speaking of school...

The other day, the more intelligent and worldly children started saying "Awkwarrrrrrrd" in response to things other kids said.  

There's a lot of things I say at school that you'd never hear me utter in real life. "KHFOOTY!"..Keep Hands Feet Other Objects To Yourself...comes out a couple of times a day. (I didn't make it up, the school did.)

But, "IF I hear one more person say "Awkwarrrrrrrrd", there will be a phone call home and you WILL move your clip down, doyouunderstand?" is a new one.

Happy Sunday from Mr. Side-Eye!


  1. I would be mortified if my 3 year old did that! I make her apologize if she bumps into people while walking. Parents need to do their job!

  2. I would have gone all ballistic on that mother. AREYOUFREAKINGKIDDINGME?!?! Your head looks like it HURTS! I would have caused the biggest (nicest) scene you've ever seen until the police showed up and handcuffed that little demon child. This kind of stuff makes my blood straight up BOIL!

    30 something parties. I, too, have been attending them for years and am still a few years away from 30. In my opinion, they are way better than the crazy parties I went to in college. Way better.

    HA! When I was a nanny the CRAZIEST things used to come out of my mouth on the reg. I had a kid who was whole heartedly obsessed with guns. He's the kind of kid--I'm sorry, but this is true--who will probably get into major trouble as a teen with such item because his parents LET HIM and ENABLE him to be a menace with these monstrous guns. I swear "GIVE ME THE GUN IT'S GOING ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE" came out of my mouth every five seconds. It's like the kid had a collection of the suckers hidden all over the house. They just kept materializing. Each scarier than the last!

  3. The thankful posts are driving me crazy!!!!! Not sure how much more I can handle.

  4. I totally agree with the stapler thing! It's so scary!

  5. DUDE! You complaining has nothing to do with you're note a mother. Your head looks like it really hurts and that's just straight up ridiculous. We work with kids, so we know what they're capable of understanding and any three year old should be capable of understanding that we don't ram carts into things! Hope you feel better soon.

    And we teachers do say silly things. I say statue to get my kids to sit up straight. Not sure when that started but it's a habit that's stuck!

  6. I agree, I am totally tired of the thankful things already on facebook...and all the requests from Candy crush (even though I deleted it, I still get notifications) and now people are sending me pet saga stuff :/

  7. So I'll be the first to admit I *tend* to over-post on fb, lol. But not the thankful posts, or other cliche updates. Not that it makes me any better, but I know what you mean. I would have been so upset at the store. We babysit our niece and nephew quite a bit and sometimes they act out, and yell and I want to die, but I am super apologetic and they're not even my kids! Scout looks as happy as Gigi did when we "tried" to dress her :)

  8. I can't believe what happened to your head!!! Any reasonable adult would've been apologizing over and over and possibly offering to buy your groceries. That is exactly what's wrong with kids today. If I was acting like that in a grocery store, my mom would've pulled me aside, smacked my butt, and grounded me for life. Hence, why I never behaved in that manner.

    I had first graders doing the, "awkward" thing last year. Like they actually know what it means. ;)

  9. Holy cow. Your head!!! What a freaking terror. Those kids scare me.

    And your dog. Omg. Love it!

  10. i can't STAND the thankful posts on facebook. i get everyone is thankful but COME ON! every day is ridiculous. everyone that is doing it has been hidden from my newsfeed!

    and scout is just precious in that outfit!

  11. I can't believe you got hit like that! How terrible! It amazes me that kids cant behave in stores and I have 3 of them I tote along with me (an no need for them to be playing on my phone either..just working on being normal members of society..geeesh). Also that 30somethings party feed was hilarious and way too true~

  12. Holy shit, that kid really fucked you up...or the door did...either way it was the kid. Hope it's gone down a bit since you took the pic.

    I totally get what you mean when you say your pup has better manners. Mine constantly licks her bum but still has better manners than half the people I run into on a daily basis. Sad.

    Your classroom looks hella depressing. Hope you spruced it up some with your awesomeness. Oh and I almost forgot, your dog makes one rad superman :) haha too cute.

  13. Oh my gosh, your head!! I would be so mad too! There is no excuse for a child to act like that and if my child did that to someone I'd be on my knees apologizing!


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