June 10, 2013

Trouble..

...trouble...trouble...TROUBLE

Just kidding.  I hate that song.

I'm having trouble thinking of what I would like to blog about.

Currently, I'm working on getting a job.  We're only here for a year.  I'm hoping to find something, though it will most likely be substituting.  While the money Scott makes is most certainly our money and always has been, I would enjoy a steady income...not only for the cash value of the money (though it'd be nice!), but for the sense of being productive that I'd get from it.  

Perhaps I'm bored?

This isn't actually anything new.  I've gone through it every summer since 2008.  I feel hapless and directionless during the summer months because, traditionally, I don't have a job to go to.

I've always been taught that if you can do something, you should do it.  My mother often said, "What ELSE would be doing?" years ago when I'd complain about not wanting to go to my job waiting tables.  As in, "Don't waste your time, do something productive".  That's probably why I make sure I go to the gym almost everyday:  I have no reason not to.  It's why I kept trucking along at my job in Alaska, even when Scott was deployed and other army wives went on extended vacations to be with family.  I had no reason not to work.  Kind of like now.  I have no reason not to; just looking for something that will give me fulfillment.  My degree is in teaching, and my interest is there too.  I just don't know, with this moving thing, how feasible finding jobs will actually be.  And what if we settled down within the next few years (for good) and I can't find a job?  That's a whole new worry, right?

I remember last summer, when I had way too much time on my hands, waking up itchy in the middle of the night.  I'd be completely unable to sleep through the night. (This was the time period in which I became obsessed with Downton Abbey...and watched two seasons in two days.) I'd be anxious and worried for no apparent reason.  It's happening again, and I believe it stems from not having enough to do.  I don't necessarily know how to fix this.  It's not an over-indulgence of caffeine, or a room that's too hot, or paper-writing or something keeping me up all night.  It's, I'm pretty sure, plain old boredom.

While I'm not sure what the point of this post is (and don't I hate it when bloggers say that...), but I suppose I'm asking for direction?  If you tell me what you'd like to see here, it'd give me something to spend time on.  (ice cream..please say ice cream...)

I mean, the nearest Target is 45 minutes away.  Goodness knows I now need a place to spend my time.


Last week, I watched the movie The Giant Mechanical Man.  Have you seen it? If you have Netflix, give it a try.  It stars Jenna Fischer (her husband was the director), and to get a feel for the character she plays, think of Pam Beesley in season one of The Office.  Then make her one thousand times more introverted.  Then you have Janice, her character in this movie.


The point of the movie is WHAT ARE WE ALL DOING HERE? WHAT ARE WE STRIVING FOR? WHY DO WE HAVE TO HAVE IT FIGURED OUT? ISN'T IT ENOUGH TO JUST 'BE'?
By the end of the movie, you'll realize that the characters who think they have it all figured out are just assholes anyway.  I don't want to be like them.  But I also don't want to wade through the mud, aimlessly, in hopes of attaining a dream.  It's a tricky concept, right?


12 comments:

  1. Girl I know the feeling all to well. I want a job too but I don't NEED a job where it becomes a career. Starbucks maybe??

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  2. Have you hear of the "wonderful" world of moreap.net? A lot of MO districts post on there, for even their maternity leaves. I'm not a huge fan of the site but some districts swear by it.

    I'm in the same boat as you - my husband actually told me to get a hobby for my mornings and I looked at him and said, I have one, its on the floor there, just not a lot of time to do it (scrapbooking). Men!

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  3. I neeeed to watch this movie! It's been on my Instant Queue for the longest time.

    Now I suffer for a productivity habit... I need to be doing something all the time. I have a hard time just "relaxing" and hanging out. I've always been busy. Now that I'm a stay-at-home mom, I make sure to have all kinds of activities for us, to keep me from getting stir crazy!

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  4. I will have to check out that movie! Sounds like something I would enjoy.

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  5. I loathe looking for a job every time we PCS. I was unemployed for about four months with this move, and to be frank, it drove me batty. Hopefully you can find something to occupy your time. I know I don't do well without a routine, so I felt much of the same anxiety.

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  6. The funniest (saddest) thing about that song is that you don't have to say anything about Taylor Swift or anything, people just KNOW what song you're talking about. Tooooo funny.

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  7. First of all, (I feel like I start all of my comments that way), I don't want to hear that Taylor Swift song unless goats are in the chorus. Secondly, I saw that movie and I really related to it, but I felt sort of jilted at the end because she just falls into this career. I know it could and does happen that way, I just felt a little jealous I guess that it all seemed to wrap up and everything was great. I always like your posts and everything you come up with, I'm always impressed that you have constant original content because I suck with that. Definitely take a trip to Target!

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  8. I think it's completely true that you feel much more satisfied with life when you accomplish something every day. I'm one of those people who is completely comfortable not having an actual full-time job--what I've learned from going to beauty school and doing hair 40 hours a week is that I'm pretty sure I don't want a full-time job because I love freedom and flexibility and there's too many other things I want to do in life besides work in a salon. Currently, I love how much I'm able to get done in life on the days I don't have to work. Of course, the career I dream of involves a laptop and my home office and that's it, so that probably explains my perspective.
    Here's an assignment for you: figure out google analytics. Okay, sorry, that's the lamest blogging activity ever but I'm tired of trying to figure it out myself!

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  9. When you get that puppy, you can make dog-parenting and gym-going your job. :) (That's what I'd do.)

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  10. Yes, please write about ice cream. :)

    Obviously, getting a subbing job won't help right now, but I think it will help you to stay on the field of education so you don't lose touch. It will help you a lot when you are able to settle down. :)

    I'm sorry that you're bored, but I live for boredom. I'm lazy. lol

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  11. It sounds like subbing could be a good option. I think it is so hard to only teach somewhere for one year. good luck!

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  12. Subbing is good, but maybe you might try getting an IA (paraprofessional-- I don't know what y'all call it there)position. It could be a little break from teaching but still keep you involved.

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