June 16, 2016

Things Military Wives Shouldn't Actually Say

This graphic is hard to see because I just took a screenshot when I saw a fellow military wife post it on Facebook a year ago. This is the original site, which is a bit easier to read than the text that was posted on Facebook. 

There are things we think and things we say. Lists like this are prolific on the internet. Whether or not this list is written for fun, vocalizing thoughts like this is exactly what gives military wives a bad name. I have my few years of experience so I feel, honestly, that I'm qualified to speak on the subject. I'd give specifics about what that experience has entailed but this is a public blog and OPSEC is important. I will say that, in 7 years, we've spent exactly half of our marriage apart. 

1. I am a dependent. I like that I know I'm taken care of. So if you don't want to fall under the category of "dependent", be prepared to give everything up (medical and commissary privileges, etc.).
2. Being a military wife is not easy, but the last thing I would do is try to compare it to being in the army. Have you seen the signs that say "Wife: hardest job in the army"? NO.  It's a lifestyle that you get used to. I don't deploy. I don't keep crazy hours.
3. I think any human being would feel this way sometimes.
4. I have a career. I don't want to say "it's not that hard" but...buck up and find something (anything!) to do that will keep you busy and is semi-enjoyable.
5. This is valid.
6 and 7. Hmmm....let's not call people names. It will get you nowhere and will greatly affect the way people view your spouse.
8. I think I hit a point, around age 26 or so, when I realized life wasn't fair and neither was how things worked in the military. I don't think I would ever complain enough to cause Scott to say that to me. I mean, I complain about lots of stuff, but rarely throw a fit because he has to work late or something because there's nothing he can do about it.
9. This sounds valid enough, I suppose, but sounds a little power-trippy too. I'm sure your husband doesn't need you saying that you are *the* parent.
10. The dogs love Scott and tolerate me. I'm used to it.
11. This is valid.
12. It's nice to be noticed and appreciated by anyone. But.. I'm not even sure what to say here.
13. This is valid. But some of the loveliest people I've met have been military wives. You won't click everywhere or with everyone, no matter the circumstances.
14. This is valid.
15. Let's not throw stones.  Maybe we could all use some PT. ("Stones" as in a measurement of weight...get it? ha   ha    ha)
16. If there's a 0.000001% happy feeling, it's because the stress leading up to a deployment becomes so awful that I'm just ready to have the worst, first days over with already. I can't imagine saying "You're making me mad. Just deploy or go into the field or something."
17. This is valid.
18. This is valid too. A lot of this comes from me thinking I don't know where/if I'm going to work if we move again. And I'm, I admit, used to being a dependent.

Thoughts? How do you feel about lists like this? 
Stereotyping at its finest?


  1. I totally agree that I want him to get out of the Army but am terrified of what that means because it's all we've known for... a long time.

    Also, I've never been hit on by a gate guard :( Maybe the minivan and screaming kids turn them off?

  2. YES!! Your version is SO much better! Good grief, reading that first one... I don't even really have the words.

    Also, "Wife: hardest job in the army"? <-- I hate that!

  3. I feel like a lot of these could apply to police wives also...I've heard a lot of similar statements. Obviously none of the stuff about deploying or moving around really applies, but before Isaiah switched careers I read a ton of blogs and forums about what it would be like to be a police officer's wife, and I'm finding that almost none of the things most of them complain about are really all that true. Or at least they don't have to be.

  4. I get really tired of the officer and enlisted wars, it is really irritating and I wish spouses would let it go.

    1. No need for civilians to wear ranks and all :)

    2. No need for civilians to wear ranks and all :)

  5. I liked reading the list and then your thoughts.

    I was sort of WTF on the noticed by the gate guard thing. LOL

  6. I love this. And I love when you share your thoughts on life as a military wife.


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