April 1, 2015
The little things
Sometimes life is just more difficult than it has to be. We call them first world problems, and they come up when things just simply don't go our way. But sometimes, they pile up over and over again. It seems like, each week, there is a new challenge I have to surmount and rise above. Some are trivial, some are not. I say "rise above" in a little bit of jest just because I remember shoveling the snow from the driveway in Alaska or cutting the grass in the enormous yard and finally feeling a huge sense of victory at the end of the task. It's like Pa in The Long Winter yelling You can't beat us! to the blizzard. Victory feels good.
So each thing that seems to go wrong (and I really should be keeping a list) is just another little test. As Joey said earlier in the week, you won't be tested past what you can handle.
Anyway.
On Monday, I started the truck to take it to work because I'm supposed to drive it as least once or twice a week. It'd been about 5 days. My car just gets better gas mileage. I can't help it.
The little exclamation point warning light came on. I knew it was the tire again. Yes, again. The second time in less than 6 weeks.
So, I started my car instead, drove to school, and emailed Scott. He said to send him a picture. Well, after school, I did that and he said it was indeed the tire. I asked what I should do. This is the way my mind works: If I drove it to school, what if it got flatter in the parking lot while it sat there all day? Because I wouldn't be able to get to the tire place until at least 4:00. If I didn't drive it to school and take care of this today, what if it went flat sitting in the driveway until Saturday? Because if it went flat at the house, I'd have to call a tow truck to come get it or fix it. You may think that Oh, well I'd still have a car, but then what if something happens to my car? Then I'm left with a truck with a flat tire. Leaving the house isn't an optional decision for me. I have to do it. Plus, I live in the middle of nowhere. Also, I am 110% a worst-case scenario person.
Scott says, "Oh, whatever's easiest", clearly not grasping the gravity of the situation that I am solely responsible for fixing.
Therefore, I drove the truck to work yesterday, contemplating if I should just stop on my way and call and ask for class coverage, then I figured I had a prep period at the end of the day, so I could at least leave 30 minutes early and get to the tire place with time to spare. So I arranged for that, arranged for duty coverage for the afternoon, and then walked out to the crosswalk with my stop sign at 8:35 (it is a known fact that if something is going to go wrong, it will go wrong during cross-walk-duty-week).
I looked over at the truck in the parking lot. The tire looked even lower now. Efffff....
My principal was out there with me, so I told her about it and she told me just to go take care of it. After I got the kids settled with stuff to do, I drove to Big O Tires in Fountain. My co-worker's husband works there and she said to be sure to mention her name, so I did. The place was pretty busy for 9:30 on a Tuesday. However, I was in and out in 45 minutes and they. fixed. the. tire. for. free. I knew it would have cost less than $20, but the kindness of that gesture made me want to cry.
The point behind all of this is that there is always something. And the fact that I am solely responsible for fixing everything is starting to wear on me. The list of "chores" and tasks is never-ending around here. I'm very grateful for the little things that remind me that sometimes it really does work out just fine. Even if pieces of the fence still blow down when it's windy and I still have to figure out how to hook up the sprinkler system.
At least it's "already" Wednesday.
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OH girl. I can understand this so so much. Obviously missing a husband to the game is far different that missing a husband due to deployment, but either way everything fell on me. I was 100% responsible for EVERY little thing--and like you said, it wears on you. Even the smallest little things become too much to bear. I'm so glad the shop showed you a kindness to lift your spirits. It reminds me of the good in people and that's so important to remember sometimes. Sending you love, friend.
ReplyDeleteUgh! It always seems like this stuff happens when they aren't around. :( Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI just know I'd be the same way. But I'm glad this all worked out, and the tire was free :)
ReplyDeleteIt is really wearing to be in charge of everything. Really.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad it was fixed and you got it taken care of in the morning!
I'm glad you were able to get it fixed for free. But I understand your frustration and how it's all starting to wear on you. You have a lot to deal with.
ReplyDeleteIt's a weird feeling, being alone and having to do everything yourself. I mean, I lived alone before we got married and I did everything myself and I was just fine, but it's stressful now. Of course, back then I lived around family and friends...it's a different story when you don't really have anyone to call.
ReplyDeleteI should be driving Isaiah's truck, but it's a 1987 stick shift and...no. I can't. So I just make sure to run it a few times a week. ;)