March 23, 2016

Kind of capable

By nature, I'm pretty helpless.

My weekend outfit: cleanest hat of Scott's I can adopt as my own, awesome vest (similar) with zip pockets to keep my phone secure as I work outside, and remote for dog collars.
I feel like my weekends are verrrry different from most military wives'.

When Scott's here, I default to him.  I don't know if this is because we got married before I had a chance to really adult things on my own or what. It's a possibility.

(Side note: I realize that many women are single and independent. I think I'm just drawing the comparison to Hey, I married you, so I thought you'd be around being how it works when a couple gets married. It's not that we all aren't capable of doing many of the tasks I default on. We're all definitely are as capable as we choose to be :)

But from the day we got married, I've been semi-on my own. I never know when he's going to be here and when he's not going to be here. The classic military wife story, right?  I've obviously learned how to adapt in one way or another.

But once in a while, I make a strong showing of my capability. I don't want to (ever) do things by myself because I'm bad at things. I haven't properly learned how to work a drill, for example. But necessity is the mother of invention, so needs must and all that (I feel like that's likely an Ingalls or Wilder quote).

I found myself at Lowe's one Monday afternoon buying liquid nail because the rubber seal had come off the bottom of the new door and needed to be reattached. I knew Scott had used liquid nail the first time to put it on, and I also realized that was the last of the liquid nail. I spent $2.48 on another tube and managed to open it without destroying it (you'd be surprised how many tubes of sealants I've destroyed because I couldn't quite get them open....) and then put it in the dispenser (something I've never done) and then put it on the rubber seal, and then reattached the seal, and then propped a bunch of wood scraps underneath the door to press it tight and then left the door open for half an hour so it could dry...

You get the idea.

This is just an example of how I'm capable when I want to be. But I always default to having someone else do things for me because it's out of my comfort zone and I'm really bad at figuring things out on my own. If Scott had been here, I would've sent him a text that might've said Get more liquid nail. Seal fell off door. Also, stop for Culver's please.

But that totally wasn't an option and I'm saving my I need your husband to help me emergency text to my friend for an actual emergency. I do default to the neighbors when there's a dog emergency or something. And if something serious happened I know they would help in a heartbeat. Living next to southerners is wonderful.

In reality, I try to be as careful as possible so things don't break and I don't have to worry about fixing them. That's always been my strategy during deployments.


  1. I can relate so much to this post it's bone chilling. I remember once fixing the washing machine in buies creek because spending my time trying to figure it out was better spent instead of hounding j who couldn't possibly make it home to help me. Or the time I handled a mouse (which I'm afraid of) because he had already moved out and I was on my own. It's amazing how truly capable we are when we don't default to someone else--something I've done nearly my entire life.

  2. I actually understand this! There are certain things that I don't bother trying to do because Scott can do them and do them way better than me. Every now and then, I will suck it up and do something on my own just so it gets done! (And that actually has included wielding a drill....)

    When I first moved in with Scott, he was working, and he asked me to cut the grass. I was appalled. I have a brother. So growing up, he or my dad (and occasionally my mom) cut the grass. I literally didn't even know how to start the lawnmower. I had to call my dad to ask him what to do. I still hate cutting the grass and avoid having to do it at all costs, but at least I know how...

  3. YES!! David's got a deployment coming up (if you could even really call it that) and I'm already dreading it. He's home and our fridge is going out & our sink handle just came off the faucet and I already had to fix those by myself just because he was so busy. I can only imagine the things that will inevitably fall apart when he actually leaves. *sigh*

    Good job doing it, I know it wasn't a hard task, but I totally get what you mean. I went from home to a few months living with my best friend, to married. It's a weird adjustment having to handle things on your own.

  4. First, love the vest. Zip pockets are crucial.

    I'm learning more about what I'm capable of doing and not capable of doing with this shore house. I am having to do more things myself because MFD is not down there a lot of the time. I have always defaulted to him or my dad or a friend who knows how to do it or a contractor. I can't call a contractor for every small thing and I don't want to. Some I'm trying to get my quick fixes down.

  5. I'm pretty capable of handling most basic things but if it's a plumbing issue or electrical issue, I can't do a thing. And we don't have the budget for always calling in a professional. I wish I were more capable but alas, I'm not. I accept this.

  6. Even when Kyle is home things default to me haha and I guess I'm okay with that.

  7. I can do A LOT of things when Brandon isn't around, but when he IS, I become a little more helpless. I don't know why! He just handles things that I normally would. Though I'm the master of the home & kids... that's my domain whether he's here or not. But fixing things? He does that.


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