Scott turned 30 last week.
Isn't that weird?
That means it's time for me to start reflecting back on the last year, because it means my birthday is less than 6 weeks away. I'm barely younger than Scott. Though I insist the fact that we were born in different years makes me much younger, I don't think it really does.
When I think about turning 30, this is all that comes to mind:
How do you go from barely being able to adult things at 20 to being forced to adult things 10 years later? I work with a 23 year old and it's eye-opening, to say the least. Good, bad, or indifferent, 23 was a long time ago.
So then I start to think....what have I done with my 20s? I honestly don't know.
I mean, I've lived in 4 states. I've worked at several schools. I've made many friends and acquaintances through the army, through work, etc. We've had many addresses and a few vehicles and have traveled a little. I've done my deployment-surviving from the homefront for more times than I care to reflect back on. I've written this blog for most of my 20s so, if you're curious about a time period, scroll through the archives.
I feel like I've tried to make a lot of this last year; trying accomplish things while I was 29. But I ended up, more often than not, stressing myself out. So no more of that.
It was so easy to destress too. I just had to tell myself Enough.
I think the important thing I know now about myself is that I know what I like and I like what I like. And I don't really try to apologize for not liking something or not wanting to do something (within reason).
I pre-ordered some plastic tubs from a school supply store, and when I got there to pick them up, they only had uglyish colors left. Red, blue, green, and yellow. If you know me on a personal level and we've had conversations, you might know that I hate primary colors. They make me irrationally angry. Classrooms decorated in primary colors nauseate me.
The only thing worse than primaries are pastels, but that's neither here nor there.
So I decided I could make the blue and green work (in the closet for storage). Yellow was...survivable, and would also live in the closet. But I refused to take the red. And the lady was like, "What?" and I was like, "I don't like red..." and she gave me a look.
When I was relaying this story to my 23 year old friend, she was like, "You don't like red? Weird!" and I was like, "I really don't. I kind of hate it. You'll get to the point where you realize you like what you like and that's okay. Give it a few years."
I'm really glad I'm at the point and I don't feel the need to make excuses. So there's that.
Then I start thinking about what I haven't gotten to yet...what I haven't accomplished...what I haven't done. It's a long list.
I was also tempted to get brutally honest and focus in on that list, but I don't think I can do that yet. Someday.
I do wish I'd gotten to travel more in my 20s. That sounds kind of silly and entitled, but I never really get to go anywhere because of my job. When I do have breaks, Scott doesn't have breaks. Or it's Christmastime when the entire world is traveling and nothankyou. We swore we'd never fly again on Christmas after the 2012 debacle. I've done my share of travel though and I'm truly grateful for the opportunities I've had (because of the army, if we're being honest).
Anyway. Here's to almost-30. Coming up next week? Scott's birthday cake. I created it just for him.