July 18, 2014

To blog or not to blog

Being a blogger is tricky.  I have these real relationships with real people and I'd just love to pull you all aside and have coffee with you, you know?  Because there's some things we just don't want to talk about on the internet.  No one wants to be the blogger who shares and bares it all.  No one wants to be a vague-blogger either.  So where do we draw the line?

The answer is that no one really knows.  There's no magic formula about what we should and should not blog about. Some bloggers claim there is, but they're just in it for page views I think.   I don't make any money from this humble space, so I figure I can talk about whatever I want.  No limitations, right?  But, then again, I haven't figured out where my limits begin and end.  That's why it's tricky.  

We all have things we'd love to discuss with these good friends we've made through the interwebs, but it's hard to do when you don't know who's reading.  We all would, I'm sure, love to talk about personal troubles and triumphs with blog friends (talk about "troubles"it just took me 3 tries to spell "triumphs" correctly).  Sometimes we only hint at the things that are really going on in our lives because we don't want to come across as too high-maintenance.  However, sometimes we come across as boring or bland if readers can tell that we're not putting enough out there.

Like I said, it's a fine line.   There's nothing I would love more than to truly let everyone I choose in on everything in my world.  That's what friends are for, right?  More often than not, just like with real-life friends, we censor what we say because we don't want to make it all about us…am I right?

If we were to have coffee…

I'd tell you about my new skincare regimen.  How it finally seems like my skin is beginning to clear up after a miserable year.  How I'm not ready to go into details yet though because I'm afraid I'll jinx it.

I'd tell you how the army is causing Scott to be at work for 15 to 24 hours a day and we're not used to that and it's a hard transition for him, for me, and for the poor dogs.  

I'd tell you that it's hard to live in a new place again and how I don't really have a support system here.  But I'd throw in that I'm SO grateful to have a couple of friends already.  The support system, I know, comes with time.  

I'd tell you that I went to the Air Force Academy to a doctor this week and I'm not sure how I feel about her.  But my options are limited because my insurance is through the military.  You can't just pick and choose where you go.  I'd add that "maybe this is a good reason to get out" of the army.  Choosing medical care is a privilege in this country, but ironically it's denied to military families.  

I'd also probably ask if you've watched anything good on t.v. lately. Maybe you thought last week's True Blood was surprisingly climactic too.

Then maybe we'd move onto more intelligent conversation, like books or something.  Or maybe not.

And then I'd ask if you wanted to go to Homegoods and buy baskets and shower curtains because that's what a fun afternoon looks like to me.

Where do you draw your own blogging line at?  Do you feel comfortable sharing everything you'd tell a friend over coffee?  


  1. I don't share nearly as much as I would in person because I find it hard to convey what I'm saying sometimes. I'm much more funny and crazy in person I think ;)

    Maybe switch to Standard and pick your own doctor?

  2. Yeah, there's definitely a line somewhere--some people are more comfortable with sharing more, other's aren't. For me--I probably err strongly on the side of only writing on my blog what I'm 100% comfortable with everyone in the world reading. My Mom, Angel, and my sisters are the ones who get to hear about anything that the world in general probably shouldn't hear.

    Those shifts are crazy!! Angel's only done 16 hour shifts rarely and randomly, usually only if they're offering a financial incentive--otherwise he doesn't think it's worth it. It's tough to be required to do shifts like that regularly!

  3. I'm much more open than I ever thought I would be on the blog, and sometimes it does make me cringe that my grandmothers can see it all. But it's definitely not everything that I discuss with my current friends. It probably is on the level that I would discuss with acquaintances though.

    I really like this post! I feel like we just had an internet friend date.

  4. There are definitely things I would love to share that I know I can't be it's the web. Things about work and co-workers that would probably make great blog topics but it's definitely not worth risking my life.

    I like to think that other than sharking things about my work and my in-laws I'm pretty open about what I put on here. But I'm fairly new at this blog (I've blogged since 2002 though) and still learning what people are interested in reading and what they are not. However, I think I treat my blog a bit like a journal so that I can keep track of my life and what has happened in it.

    After all I've posted a ton of wedding pictures but still haven't printed any or put any up in my condo!

  5. You're right there IS a fine line. But I do think it's completely up to each blogger how she (or he) shares life with the world. I'm sure there are bloggers out there who air out their dirty laundry for all of the inter web to read. (I mean, if people do it on Facebook, it has to happen here, too!)

    I think you do an excellent job of walking that line. You let us know when times are hard, but you don't, for example, throw Scott under the bus and say terrible things about him because you guys got into an argument last night. Yes, we all get mad at our significant others or family members, but I don't feel the blog is a place for that. To me, that will just do more harm than good. THOSE are the times to be.vague...something is going on in your life that's tough. That's all bloggers need to know!

    You also let us know when times are good, and those are usually the things to be more specific about! :)

  6. I share probably way too much about some things and not enough about others. You're right, though--it is a fine line and it's hard to know what's going to connect with someone or offend someone or whatever other emotion they might have. I think as long as you're consistently yourself, it's okay to share or not share. Because ultimately, we come back for you.

  7. I definitely don't talk about 90% of my life on my blog. It's actually kind of weird that I have a blog at all, because I'm such a private person. It drives my in-laws crazy...I barely tell them anything personal, haha. I think there are maybe two or three bloggers I've met that know me better than just through my blog, you being one of them, but there is still a LOT I don't talk about until I really get to know someone. I'm pretty sure most people who read my blog probably think I'm really shallow and boring.

  8. I share a lot but not all. It is definitely hard with a blog and with anyone reading even though I feel I have so many wonderful internet friends who could provide comforting words or support. The thing is, I have to balance what I am willing to share and what others might not want shared. Yes, a crazy thin line.

    But I loved our internet coffee chat. It sounds like things are really rough for you right now but rest assured, it all works out in the end. I am sorry your love has such crazy hours and you aren't 100% into your doctor. Life is crazy but I am glad you shared what you did today. Love and hugs to you! Beautiful post.

  9. I think this is a really good point. You want to make sure that you don't paint everything as too rosy because it isn't totally authentic. But at the same time, you don't want to come off as dramatic or whiney or ungrateful. I think you do a really good job of walking the line.

    Also, I totally get the long work hours. It's no fun. That's when you need people that you have that cup of coffee with and I hope you find a great group of people soon.

  10. I definitely walk the line and tend to lean toward the positive as to not ruffle feathers from family or friends to read. If my post has a lot of pictures and not enough words (cough *beach week* cough) then it is probably because i don't have the right (nice) words to say. But I try to keep it real too by sharing my own mothering mishaps. You do a great job! (And if we were having coffee, we would talk about True Blood like we freaking live in Bon Temps, obviously)

  11. I look back on some of my posts from years ago when I knew pretty much nobody was reading my blog and CRINGE at what I put out there on the internet. The thing is, though, I try to be as real and candid as possible. I know no one wants to waste their time reading "boo my life sucks" kinds of posts (the little free time we have should be filled with happy! and positive! Right?) But at the same time, in order to create a real relationship with our readers, it's important not to be one sided and gain their trust. I found after last year (between my depression and then being so sick) that people appreciate honesty. The good thing about being open about your hardships is the level of support and excitement when things are REALLY good! I like dynamic. And I like you! I hate that you're feeling this way right now, friend. You're right--moving somewhere is so hard especially at first. I know you know the drill--but I've been here for 1.5 years already and have made prettttttttty much no friends. It is what it is. I know you suck at texting--but you can chat with me ANYTIME you need to say something--even if it makes no sense :)

  12. I'm happy to share things over email or text with my blogger friends that I will not delve into on my blog for various reasons - because I feel they're too personal to just put out to anyone, because I like to keep some stuff off of the Internet, because I don't want to be vulnerable to nameless faceless people but am happy to be vulnerable to a few. Those types of reasons/lines (that are not set and always moving, it seems - the lines, not the reasons). I don't like alluding to things either and rely on my honesty and transparency on everything else I put out there to authenticate me rather than the nitty gritty of my life. It's a blog for me, not a journal, and I try to keep it like that. That's not to say I never share anything that's not close, but I'm careful of what I share and how it affects others.


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