February 28, 2014

Sh1t my husband says

Scott did a diet cleanse last week.
He came to bed at 11pm one night gnawing on something.
Me: Is that CANDY?!
Him: ……
Me: You're on a cleanse!
Him: I'm cleansing my soul!


The other day, my face randomly started breaking out in a terrible way.  We think it's an allergic reaction; to what, we don't know.  I have an appointment next week.
When I came home from school incredibly upset about it (I still am…it's awful…and no, there will not be a picture), I said, "WHY is this happening?".
Scott: Because God must hate you.

Also, on the same topic…
Me: …So I got home from school and took off my make-up…
Scott: You shouldn't be wearing that stuff anyway. Pores need to breathe.
Me:  It's just powder and I mean, high-quality stuff, so it's not like it's BAD make-up.
Scott:  Oh, what, you have freaking Bare Minerals??
Me: Yes.
Scott: Really?  Where'd you get that?
Me:  Online.
Scott:  Well, okay then.


Me: I read that most acne is caused by food allergies.  They're nearly impossible to pinpoint, but what if I've been eating something for months that's been causing this and it just, all of a sudden, got really bad.
Him: It's possible.
Me: I think it might be almonds.  I eat more almond stuff than I can keep track of.  I never ate almonds before we came to Missouri and my face never broke out like this in Alaska.
Him: Probably not.  But fine.  I don't want to see you near an almond.
Me: I already bought coconut milk to replace almond milk.  
Him: It'd be funny if you were allergic to coconut.


On telling my principal I'd be leaving at the end of the year…


He sent me this picture of Scout the other day with a caption.

I'm not even sure what is happening there, but Scott thought it was funny.

Post inspiration courtesy of Hodges Podges and I showed this to Scott before I posted it.  He's sacrificing for the greater good (of the blog).


  1. I'm having trouble using my open ID but this is Jana from The Townhouse Pioneer.

    My husband, whose name is also Scott, and I had this conversation:

    Him: I'd like to get a pair of mannequin legs.
    Me: Um...what?
    Him: I'd like to get a pair of mannequin legs. I don't like the way my socks fit and if I have legs, I can use the feet to stretch out my socks before I wear them.
    Me: What is wrong with you?

    And, he said this as I was getting ready to go to bed. I can't handle this nonsense late at night.

  2. Jana again. Daily Money Shot is my old, now defunct site. Ignore that link.

  3. Good luck at the doctor! I feel your pain on the skin issue :(

  4. Oh husbands and the things they say!

  5. haha tell Scott thank you from all of us

  6. This is hilarious!! I love the text message one. I think both of us would have cried too if John had gotten orders to stay at FLW.

  7. Haha! I love it! I particularly like the part about cleansing his soul.... :)

  8. OMG I love this post. SO funny. I'm sorry about the break-outs.

    But it would be kinda funny if you were allergic to coconut. ;)

  9. Best post ever. I feel your pain on the break outs - turns out that I have rosacea now, my doctor said that it often happens in your late twenties, early thirties. I said a lot of bad words to that. It sucks. And I love that picture of Scout lol.

  10. Definitely best photo of your dog I've ever seen.

    My face breaks out terribly when I eat wheat, dairy and too much sugar. Which is unfortunately, because I have a hard time staying away from all that...

  11. Scott is hilarious. But you don't have to tell him that if you don't want to admit it. :)

    Also, I totally buy into his "I'm cleansing my soul" line.

  12. You didn't by chance use any acne cream from like walmart did you? We found out a person broke out all over her body because of a little dot of a random cream from there. Its not pretty.


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