Why I won't be seeing Breaking Dawn Part Whatever.

I may have told this story before on here, but it's time to revisit it.

It's no secret that I think Kristen Stewart is a talentless trollop.  In fact, her one redeeming role was in Adventureland, but she also played a two-timing heartbreaker in that movie...as she does in real life.

But yeah, I saw Twilight in the theater.  And then New Moon.  And Eclipse too (at that point, I was invested and it was habit.)

I suppose I shall start at the beginning of my own Twilight "saga"...

I read all 4 books the summer after college (clearly putting my expensive education to work).

I liked them.  I did.  I didn't read too deeply into them.  If you read past the surface, this is what you see:

Source: weknowmemes.com via Kristin on Pinterest

But I took them for their low-entertainment value.  I must say, I did not care for Breaking Dawn.  The end of Eclipse left you wanting more..and Breaking Dawn didn't deliver.  It was too unbelievable.  Which is hard to do when you're writing about vampires and werewolves.  So congrats on that accomplishment, Stephenie.

I started dating Scott at the end of August 2008.  Our very first movie date was Twilight in November of that year.  I pre-ordered the tickets.  I was ready, he was willing (because I was his new girlfriend and he still kind of indulged my every whim).

We waited in a crowded lobby full of teenage girls (covered in glitter) who actually seemed to be rioting a bit.  A huge crowd it was, pressing against the closed theater doors.  When the doors were finally opened, 20 minutes before show time, they all surged forward.

Scott said, "This is how people die in crowds!", but I could barely hear him over the shrieking.

He must have really liked me.

15 minutes into the movie, I was bored.  I realized that I already knew what was going to happen.  At that moment, I also realized that KStew had reached the potential of the acting ability I was going to see.  RPatz too.  I realize some of you find him drool-worthy, but I think he looks like a bit of a creepy skeletor, therefore him just being in the movie wasn't enough of a draw for me.

Source: theberry.com via Kristin on Pinterest

Also, I had read the book.  I KNEW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT.  I was bored.  I shifted around in my seat so much that Scott swore he'd never take me to another movie.  We didn't go to another until July of 2009 after we were married (The Hangover).

I eventually went to see New Moon in Anchorage because I had hoped the whole Twilight thing was a fluke.  Uh no.  New Moon might've been worse.

Eclipse.  Uggggghhhhh.  Worse yet.

My friend Courtney (who needs her own blog) sent me this link with some Twilight pie charts.

That was finally when I was like "Eff it. This franchise is ruined and is stupid too."*

I firmly, firmly believe that Twilight could have had potential.  Had it not been for the screenplay, cast, crew, set, etc...I mean, look what Alan Ball did with True Blood!  It's a real story (based on a series of books).  With real actors.  With real facial expressions.

These are funny.  You should watch them.

*I don't judge you for watching the movies, as I clearly have nothing against vampires. I judge you if you ever say that KStew has talent.  

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