Selfishness during deployment

So a friend told me that Christians shouldn't live alone.

Interesting, I thought.  Given that so many of the military spouses I know are Christians and have all had their fair shake at living alone.

Apparently, according to my friend, it makes you selfish and Christians shouldn't be selfish.  Well, duh.  Selfishness is a bad quality.  But I never thought of my living alone as contributing to my selfishness.

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 Growing up as the oldest of three, I was selfish to an extent, but I clearly knew how to share.  I guess I just never thought of my selfishness as going farther than "I want to sleep in" or "I want control of the t.v. remote". 

It's weird that, as a grown up, selfishness means something completely different than it does as a child.  As an adult, you control your own time.  "No thank you.  I won't be coming into work early.  I have things to do in the morning.  Like sleep and blog.".  Or "No, I won't be staying extra late for that meeting.  I have to go to the gym."

That's essentially what selfishness means to me these days.

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Now selfishness during deployment is a whole 'nother bag of tricks.  Surviving deployment as a military spouse is about self-preservation.  It's about over-scheduling.  It's about always having something to look forward to.  And rewarding yourself along the way.

Christian or not, my first instinct is do whatever I can to get through it.  If that means watching 36 episodes of True Blood, so be it.  If it means working out everyday to feel like I'm achieving a goal, then fine.  If it's consuming a vast amount of marshmallows and tequila on a Sunday afternoon, then whatever.

So maybe living alone does contribute to my selfishness.  Maybe I secretly relish in the fact that I don't have to clean the bathrooms every week.  Or do the dishes everyday.  Maybe I love the thought that I can eat ice cream for dinner.

Still, I'd willing do the dishes everyday (and eat vegetables for dinner) if it meant Scott didn't have to be deployed.

But, to the idea that because I'm a Christian, I'm not allowed to cope in these ways while living alone?

I don't know if I can agree with that.  The Bible also says that a man who is a soldier is not allowed to leave his new wife during the first year of marriage.  I think we can all agree that that's a bunch of b.s. because it happens everyday to Christians and non-Christians.  It happened to us, twice actually.

What do you think?  I cope by wasting time in Target on weeknights and spending way too many hours at the gym.  Then I eat ice cream for dinner and do laundry when I get around to it.  Is what I'm doing that bad??  Do you do the same things to cope when your significant other isn't around?